Well, today's the day. It has been four years since we lost our precious little one. If you haven't read the story, you can find it here. This is the first anniversary that I can actually say I haven't had any tears today, just joy for what's to come when we meet in heaven. Wow! I never imagined I'd be able to say that but, well, I've had some breakthrough. That's not to say that I'll forget, because I will never forget. However, I'm at peace.
Let me back up. After our tragedy, I struggled. Well actually, I struggled for almost three years. My heart was fighting God and I was angry at what had happened, bitter, anxious, and depressed. On top of that, I was physically struggling with an autoimmune disease and its repercussions. My heart and body wanted to be healed and whole again but I had no idea how I could ever get there. I thought my body had betrayed me and I thought I'd have to fight this for the rest of my life. At times, my thought life was so negative that I really didn't know how to dig myself out of the pit. I wanted to be happy and I wanted to have joy again but I was living and dwelling in the past, and focusing on my pain and suffering. I was believing lies about myself. I was constantly worrying about something and fighting with anxiety. I felt like I was forever entitled to sympathy and I didn't want to be responsible for who I had become.
I was living as a victim.
But last year, something shifted. I've written about it here. A couple of months ago more breakthrough happened, both spiritual and physical breakthrough. God isn't just restoring and healing my mind and body, but I'm being shaped by what He says about me. God is transforming me from the inside out and my faith continues to grow every day.
I love this quote:
"...whatever I might be a part of right now, experiencing pain, hardship, loss, disappointment, or dreams fulfilled, victories won, breakthrough all over, He remains the same. Because of what He's done for me, because of where we're headed, and because of that, I can be resolved for all eternity. His praise will ever be on my lips regardless of what I may be going through in the moment." - Kalley Heiligenthal
This is my goal, to praise Him no matter the circumstance.
God wants us to be fruitful. He wants us to be spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally healthy. He wants to take us to the next level in our spiritual walk with Him. He wants to give us breakthrough. He wants to give YOU breakthrough! Pray for it. Don't be discouraged if your breakthrough doesn't come right away. Be patient and trust in Him. James 4:8 says "draw near to Him and He will draw near to you."
May I also say this. Some of us have battles that don't seem to make sense and aren't "fair." People get cancer every day and so many aren't healed. They suffer from debilitating diseases, spouses cheat, children pass away, homes burn down, etc. The Bible says I believe in Matthew, that the sun and the rain fall on the just and the unjust. That kind of suffering is really for an entirely different discussion though. Listen, we can't understand everything in this world, but ultimately we can choose to put our hope and our trust in Jesus.
I'd love to share some scriptural affirmations here on the blog that are good reminders for who God says He is and who He says you are. One of my goals is to print out some of these verses and create a vision board. Would that be something you'd like to see me create and share on the blog? Let me know in the comments. And I'd love to hear about your God breakthroughs in the comments below. For me, I know I always get encouraged and my faith grows stronger when I read stories about how God is working in other's lives.
Let me back up. After our tragedy, I struggled. Well actually, I struggled for almost three years. My heart was fighting God and I was angry at what had happened, bitter, anxious, and depressed. On top of that, I was physically struggling with an autoimmune disease and its repercussions. My heart and body wanted to be healed and whole again but I had no idea how I could ever get there. I thought my body had betrayed me and I thought I'd have to fight this for the rest of my life. At times, my thought life was so negative that I really didn't know how to dig myself out of the pit. I wanted to be happy and I wanted to have joy again but I was living and dwelling in the past, and focusing on my pain and suffering. I was believing lies about myself. I was constantly worrying about something and fighting with anxiety. I felt like I was forever entitled to sympathy and I didn't want to be responsible for who I had become.
I was living as a victim.
But last year, something shifted. I've written about it here. A couple of months ago more breakthrough happened, both spiritual and physical breakthrough. God isn't just restoring and healing my mind and body, but I'm being shaped by what He says about me. God is transforming me from the inside out and my faith continues to grow every day.
I love this quote:
"...whatever I might be a part of right now, experiencing pain, hardship, loss, disappointment, or dreams fulfilled, victories won, breakthrough all over, He remains the same. Because of what He's done for me, because of where we're headed, and because of that, I can be resolved for all eternity. His praise will ever be on my lips regardless of what I may be going through in the moment." - Kalley Heiligenthal
This is my goal, to praise Him no matter the circumstance.
God wants us to be fruitful. He wants us to be spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally healthy. He wants to take us to the next level in our spiritual walk with Him. He wants to give us breakthrough. He wants to give YOU breakthrough! Pray for it. Don't be discouraged if your breakthrough doesn't come right away. Be patient and trust in Him. James 4:8 says "draw near to Him and He will draw near to you."
May I also say this. Some of us have battles that don't seem to make sense and aren't "fair." People get cancer every day and so many aren't healed. They suffer from debilitating diseases, spouses cheat, children pass away, homes burn down, etc. The Bible says I believe in Matthew, that the sun and the rain fall on the just and the unjust. That kind of suffering is really for an entirely different discussion though. Listen, we can't understand everything in this world, but ultimately we can choose to put our hope and our trust in Jesus.
I'd love to share some scriptural affirmations here on the blog that are good reminders for who God says He is and who He says you are. One of my goals is to print out some of these verses and create a vision board. Would that be something you'd like to see me create and share on the blog? Let me know in the comments. And I'd love to hear about your God breakthroughs in the comments below. For me, I know I always get encouraged and my faith grows stronger when I read stories about how God is working in other's lives.
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