Well, today's the day. It has been four years since we lost our precious little one. If you haven't read the story, you can find it here . This is the first anniversary that I can actually say I haven't had any tears today, just joy for what's to come when we meet in heaven. Wow! I never imagined I'd be able to say that but, well, I've had some breakthrough. That's not to say that I'll forget, because I will never forget. However, I'm at peace. Let me back up. After our tragedy, I struggled. Well actually, I struggled for almost three years. My heart was fighting God and I was angry at what had happened, bitter, anxious, and depressed. On top of that, I was physically struggling with an autoimmune disease and its repercussions. My heart and body wanted to be healed and whole again but I had no idea how I could ever get there. I thought my body had betrayed me and I thought I'd have to fight this for the rest of my life. At times, my thoug