Skip to main content

5 LIFE LESSONS LEARNED THROUGH MISCARRIAGE + INFERTILITY


A couple of months ago, as I wrote about here, we started the process of infertility testing and treatment. After a few appointments, blood draws and an ultrasound, we learned that I have an autoimmune disease causing, among a number of symptoms I won't go into detail here, thyroid issues, hormone imbalances, and infertility. On top of that, the tumors I had during our miscarriage are back.

This season of our marriage has been incredibly trying and incredibly precious. For some, going through a miscarriage and/or infertility can break a marriage. But, because of God's grace, JP and I have grown closer together in our marriage and are stronger every passing day. JP is the best thing (besides Jesus) that's ever happened to me and I am so proud to call him my husband. He is a gift that I never want to take for granted. Through these trials, we've learned some painful life lessons and I thought I'd share some of them with you:

ONE: FLEXIBILITY

Oh man. JP and I thought we had everything figured out when we first got married. We made plans. Our plans. And God had His plan. I'll tell you that this journey has been incredibly humbling and terribly painful. At this point in time, the next puzzle piece in God's plan hasn't been revealed to us yet so we get to wait on Him. And be flexible. And sometimes when we get hit with something unexpected, I try and think, "PLOT TWIST!" Of course this is easier said than done. Honestly, I usually cry first, especially when my hormones are wacky. But then I calm down and remember that we get to trust in God.

TWO: WE NEED JESUS

When things are so completely outside of your control and your heart has been shattered, there is nothing left to do but get on your knees and pray. Jesus steadies our hearts. He comforts us. He counsels us. He leads us. He loves us. He gives us hope and He encourages us. Even in our anger and unbelief, He gives us grace and mercy. And reminds us that He's ever faithful.

THREE: WE ARE NOT ALONE

It really is amazing to see people come out of the woodwork sharing their stories of loss and infertility. The hurt and pain is everywhere. This may be weird to say but for me personally, hearing stories of loss was one of the only few sources of comfort. I knew I wasn't alone. We weren't alone. There were others sifting through the muck trying to mend their broken hearts just like us.

FOUR: LIFE IS HARD. GIVE GRACE TO YOURSELF AND TO OTHERS

Ok, so this is a two part comment. Firstly, you never know what someone is battling behind closed doors. In our culture, people generally aren't transparent. They wear plastic smiles on social media and in church. For whatever reason, the church is notorious for faking a perfect life. We are supposed to have it all together right? But we don't. Life is messy and ugly at times. People may never reveal struggles they are facing, but we all have them so we need to remember to give people grace. Secondly, we've been on the receiving end of some very insensitive comments (and some downright cruel ones) from people who believed they were actually trying to help and encourage us. Give them grace anyway.

"The bad news is, people are crueler, meaner and more evil than you've ever imagined. The good news is, people are kinder, gentler, and more loving than you've ever dreamed." Unknown source.


FIVE: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Too often, as women, we tend to take care of others before we take care of ourselves. That can eventually become dangerous to our health. We downplay our hurting. Yes, we are strong. Seriously. You don't know how strong you are until you go through a tragedy or serious physical ailment and survive it. But I am learning to speak up for myself more. I am learning to take control of my health hence the natural beauty routine and the transition into minimalism. I am becoming more proactive and less reactive. And I'm loving it.

We've learned so many more life lessons going through our miscarriage and infertility but I have narrowed them down to these five in hopes that they could apply to more of our readers. I'd love to hear about things you've learned along your journey of loss or infertility so please comment below or send us a private message. Have a great day!

Comments

  1. You are such an inspiration to me Julie, love you guys so much:)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dresser turned TV stand makeover!

Tonight, I am so excited to share with you what hubby has been working on for the last few months in his spare time.  Let me preface by saying that we've had our TV hanging on the wall above our fire place since we purchased it about a year ago.  And though I liked it there and it fit well, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  You see, while the TV is on and you're sitting on the sofa curled up in a warm blanket drinking hot tea, you can't have the gas fireplace running.  Not only do I use the TV for viewing movies and television shows, but I listen to a lot of music through it.  I love our fireplace but would love it more if I could use it!  So to solve that problem I was on a mission to find a nice TV stand.
After searching online and finding a lot of great furniture options, I realized I didn't really want to spend any money.  We had a dresser gifted to my husband years ago that we were planning on selling or donating but I really wanted to find a new use for i…

Homemade Mod Podge

We all know how expensive Mod Podge is at the craft store, right?  And since there are so many projects which use it, I thought I could find a homemade version online.  Love pinterest!  This is seriously the easiest DIY project I have ever done.
Supplies: A Jar (I rescued an empty Tostitos Creamy Spinach Dip Jar YUMMM which was on its way out to be recycled)Elmer's White Glue (I used two 4 fl oz bottles)Water Before I made the Mod Podge, I washed out the jar and spray painted the lid silver.  I also took off the label from the jar and did my best to get rid of all of the adhesive (first tried a paper towel and rubbing alcohol, but it didn't work and then I tried olive oil and it worked like a charm). Instructions: Empty glue into jarFill the empty glue bottle with water and pour into the new jar with the glue  (Ideally, you want 50% glue and 50% water)Shake, Shake, SHAKE the jar That's it!  You have made homemade mod podge!  EASY PEASY!
You can get a little fancy and create a lab…

TWO YEARS | remembering our miscarriage

We all have that day. The day when our world changed forever. For us, it was the day we lost our little one. I don't cry much anymore, but I remember. The pain isn't raw as it once was, but I will never forget.
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. The day I told my husband he was a daddy to be. I remember the dreams we had for this baby. Our hopes. Our plans. Our future. I remember our normally un-snuggly dog coming up to me and nuzzling her head under my arm pit, resting her head on my belly as if she knew there was a little life growing inside of me. I remember the prayers. So many prayers. We prayed every night for this baby of ours. For their future. For their health. For their life. The unbelievable love.
The warmth of the sun and the smell in the air.
I remember the darkness descending. The blood. The emergency room. The tests. The feelings of fear. The spoken words. The reality dawning. The unimaginable pain.
The surgery.
The pain isn't raw as it once was…