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5 LIFE LESSONS LEARNED THROUGH MISCARRIAGE + INFERTILITY


A couple of months ago, as I wrote about here, we started the process of infertility testing and treatment. After a few appointments, blood draws and an ultrasound, we learned that I have an autoimmune disease causing, among a number of symptoms I won't go into detail here, thyroid issues, hormone imbalances, and infertility. On top of that, the tumors I had during our miscarriage are back.

This season of our marriage has been incredibly trying and incredibly precious. For some, going through a miscarriage and/or infertility can break a marriage. But, because of God's grace, JP and I have grown closer together in our marriage and are stronger every passing day. JP is the best thing (besides Jesus) that's ever happened to me and I am so proud to call him my husband. He is a gift that I never want to take for granted. Through these trials, we've learned some painful life lessons and I thought I'd share some of them with you:

ONE: FLEXIBILITY

Oh man. JP and I thought we had everything figured out when we first got married. We made plans. Our plans. And God had His plan. I'll tell you that this journey has been incredibly humbling and terribly painful. At this point in time, the next puzzle piece in God's plan hasn't been revealed to us yet so we get to wait on Him. And be flexible. And sometimes when we get hit with something unexpected, I try and think, "PLOT TWIST!" Of course this is easier said than done. Honestly, I usually cry first, especially when my hormones are wacky. But then I calm down and remember that we get to trust in God.

TWO: WE NEED JESUS

When things are so completely outside of your control and your heart has been shattered, there is nothing left to do but get on your knees and pray. Jesus steadies our hearts. He comforts us. He counsels us. He leads us. He loves us. He gives us hope and He encourages us. Even in our anger and unbelief, He gives us grace and mercy. And reminds us that He's ever faithful.

THREE: WE ARE NOT ALONE

It really is amazing to see people come out of the woodwork sharing their stories of loss and infertility. The hurt and pain is everywhere. This may be weird to say but for me personally, hearing stories of loss was one of the only few sources of comfort. I knew I wasn't alone. We weren't alone. There were others sifting through the muck trying to mend their broken hearts just like us.

FOUR: LIFE IS HARD. GIVE GRACE TO YOURSELF AND TO OTHERS

Ok, so this is a two part comment. Firstly, you never know what someone is battling behind closed doors. In our culture, people generally aren't transparent. They wear plastic smiles on social media and in church. For whatever reason, the church is notorious for faking a perfect life. We are supposed to have it all together right? But we don't. Life is messy and ugly at times. People may never reveal struggles they are facing, but we all have them so we need to remember to give people grace. Secondly, we've been on the receiving end of some very insensitive comments (and some downright cruel ones) from people who believed they were actually trying to help and encourage us. Give them grace anyway.

"The bad news is, people are crueler, meaner and more evil than you've ever imagined. The good news is, people are kinder, gentler, and more loving than you've ever dreamed." Unknown source.


FIVE: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Too often, as women, we tend to take care of others before we take care of ourselves. That can eventually become dangerous to our health. We downplay our hurting. Yes, we are strong. Seriously. You don't know how strong you are until you go through a tragedy or serious physical ailment and survive it. But I am learning to speak up for myself more. I am learning to take control of my health hence the natural beauty routine and the transition into minimalism. I am becoming more proactive and less reactive. And I'm loving it.

We've learned so many more life lessons going through our miscarriage and infertility but I have narrowed them down to these five in hopes that they could apply to more of our readers. I'd love to hear about things you've learned along your journey of loss or infertility so please comment below or send us a private message. Have a great day!

Comments

  1. You are such an inspiration to me Julie, love you guys so much:)

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