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BARRENNESS, LOSS, HEALING, AND HOPE PART 2

To catch up, click HERE to read Part 1 first.

Two days after that dreaded phone call where I had learned I'd need to schedule an infertility consultation, I was doing my morning temping and realized that I was now two days late.  Late.  I am almost never late.  I am as consistent as they get!  From my fertility calendar I knew I had ovulated earlier than usual that month, so being late seemed like something veeeeeery interesting.  I couldn't help but think, could this be the month???  I slowly peeled myself out of bed and crept to the bathroom in stealth mode so as not to wake the hubby.  Only one other time in the last year had I been late and peed on the stick to find it come up negative within about ten seconds.  This time around though, the word we had been hoping and praying for for so long finally appeared on the display "PREGNANT"!!!  I had to take a second look.  And a third.  And a fourth.  Was this for real?  I looked again for a faded "NOT" but it was nowhere to be seen.  I then had to take photos for proof, of course.  I was in disbelief as I whispered to God, "thank You."  Thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You.  Over and over and over again.  What a precious gift. And truly a miracle.  All I wanted to do was jump in bed and wake my husband to tell him the good news.  But, as excited as I was, I knew that for as long as we had been trying, I wanted to make the announcement special.  So, I kept quiet and played cool, somehow managing to hold myself together.

The entire morning my mind was solely focused on that positive test, staring at the photos and wondering if it was for real  Sometimes those tests can give false positives.  I couldn't stand it one more minute and called my doctor's office to schedule a blood draw for confirmation.  Is this what every first time pregnant woman does?  The receptionist suggested that I should wait a week and test again, before doing any lab work.  Yeah right!  After waiting this long, I was willing to take a chance and get my blood tested today.  Immediately after work.  When I got home that evening, my husband inquired about my bandaid on the inside of my elbow and I made some excuse about getting another preventative shot...as I work in healthcare.  The phlebotomist said the results would take about 24 hours to get processed and let me tell you those were the longest 24 hours of. my. life.  I probably slept a whopping three hours that night.  The photos I had taken of the positive test were sent in right away for the one hour photo print.

The following day I picked up the photos (in color, black and white, and sepia of course) and finished my little announcement project in the car before work.  At lunchtime, the phone call came in and...it. was. LEGIT.  We were pregnant!!!  Oh, I can't tell you how ruffled and discomposed I was and I even told the receptionist a brief synopsis of our little story of TTC.  She was gracious with me though as I'm sure she had heard a thousand similar stories in the last month alone.  That afternoon on my lunch break, I drove down to the Duck Store and purchased our baby's first onesie as part of the pregnancy reveal.

Now, hubby had just had his birthday but we weren't going to celebrate until a few days later with our families.  I decided that I would give him his birthday gifts before we met up with the family including one extra special gift.  He didn't want to be in the photos but telling him the news was one of the best moments of our lives as husband and wife.
This photo was sort of a reenactment of me telling him since I just wanted to soak in the moment and not worry about taking photos.  And I just love that the pup was so intently studying hubby wondering what is going on...

Let's fast forward a few weeks.  A call comes in from my brother and sister in law (who live out of the area) with some exciting news of their own.  There would be a new addition to their family as they were pregnant!  How exciting that we would both be pregnant at the same time!  This would be their second child and would be only a few weeks older than our future little one!  Yey for cousins the same age!!  Hubby and I had special ways we wanted to announce our pregnancy for each person in the family so we kept our news a secret.

Wow, that first month I was so tired.  Beyond exhausted and lethargic.  Both of us had gotten really sick during this time, on top of me feeling nauseous from the pregnancy, and were home from work for a few days.  I would compare the exhaustion to Mono which I had in my mid twenties, about six years ago.  I have always joked that my "smeller" was broken, but during this time, I could smell everything!  Flowers, cologne, candles, food, etc.  A new world had opened up for me, haha.  I was definitely more emotional, but not out of control.  The nausea was all day long, but I only actually vomited a few times.  I felt at peace for the first time in so long and felt so blessed to finally be pregnant.  No matter how sick I got, I was willing to endure whatever challenge it took to have a healthy baby.

At our 8 week appointment, we were finally able to walk into the clinic proudly with our heads held high that yes, I had indeed been knocked up.  I felt so proud as I was moving into the ranks of "mother" a coveted title I had dreamt of from childhood.  We discussed with the nurse all of our health history and were given some pregnancy resources which I was so excited to dive into later that afternoon...like once we got into the car before leaving the parking lot.  We had another blood draw and then scheduled our 12 and 16 week appointments.

Click HERE to read Part 3...

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